Pandora Young

Pandora Young is a super-skinny 17year old. At 5ft 8in tall she looks almost anorexic and yet is one of those teens who can stuff vast amounts of all-you-can-eat into their mouths without gaining an iota of fat. This instantly makes some of the larger ‘constantly-on-a-diet’ women in our office hate her. 

Their jealousy soon dissolves when they realise that Pandora, or Panda as she likes to be known is completely bat-shit crazy. A whirlwind in her own right Panda has more colours of mood than a psychedelic rainbow. She possesses a shorter attention span than a kid with ADD on a sugar and caffeine rush, less common sense than a schizophrenic on LSD and all the subtly of a badly aimed brick.

 

In fact the only way we could get her to stand still to capture an inexpressive pose was to lie and pretend we were shooting an advert or modelling campaign. Thankfully one blank sash was sufficient enough to convince her we were professional agency scouts. We had prepared a lie and decided to tell her that our non-existent logo would be added to the sash after processing but she never questioned the fact that it was blank. 

 

Needless to say then that Panda loves to pose and heartily indorses her daddies shoe company. She works in advertising and has written a book about shoes called ‘extended wardrobatics.’  It dismays us that any reputable publisher would allow such a thing to print but realise that the amount of money her daddy offered was probably too good to refuse.

 

In the seconds it took anyone to process that thought Panda got distracted and dashed off to change outfit. She returned all silly grins girlish twirls and spiky pigtails with a different hair colour. We wanted to ask how she managed to switch the colour so swiftly but before anyone could utter a word the girl went off on another random tangent.  This is also about the point our employees switched off and stopped making notes.

 

To summarise the notes made, Panda is energetic, excitable, fun and friendly but also extremely forgetful, most of her thoughts evaporate in seconds. She is rather manic, a nice but nuts persona who although mad as a box of frogs does mean well. Panda is completely indecisive and utterly annoying. Her short attention span and lack of any sentient memory means she finds it particularly hard to retain information. We mean ANY information, its fairly frustrating to try and create a portrait whilst the subject keeps asking for the water fountain, then forgets where it is, or where she is, then laughs and sits and stands and sits and finally asks again, ‘where is the water fountain?’ I think a few employees went home to drink themselves into normality after meeting her.

 

We’ve had so many miserable, dead-pan and cold-fish occasions with other interviewees that we never dreamed we’d revere those moments. Honestly, there is no way to shut this girl up.